signed her letters with Xs and Os

Evie's 25th birthday is today. It's late and I am awake, thinking, making, and wasting the night. I have to work at 7 but my body doesn't want to sleep at all.

I can hardly remember them. Though I remember I loved them. I still come across times that I wonder who I would have been had they been around. Though I guess I shouldn't dwell on that. Mom has told me Evie loved to sing, but was tone deaf. She clogged, read Boxcar Children, and Babysitters Club, listened to Pam Tillis, Trisha Yearwood, and Seal. She played French Horn, let me sleep on the floor next to her bed when I couldn't sleep. She was my introduction to Girl Scouts and Camp Roundelay. My loverly, loverly sister.

I am grateful for the sisters I have come upon.The ones I met in kindergarten, and the sisters I have just begun to know. The one who shares a birthday with my genetic sister, and who has a special place in my heart. The sisters who have inauguration day lunch with me, the ones who are too too far away (if you ask me). And the sisters with whom I lack communication, but still love. I'm a lucky girl.

I'm so excited.

I had a real good birthday. Lots of birthday wishes at work, including being serenaded over the walkies by my manager. Rachel took me out to dinner and we spent the weekend together. There was a nice little Troll party at Tiko's with camp people, which was quite loverly and full of Trolls, Wii, and Whoonu?.

I ATE CAKE IN MY JAMMIES!
(that's the first one in 3 years that hasn't said and em :()

On the way home Sunday night all I could think about was my friendship with Rachel U. I want to be her friend, but can I be friends with someone who thinks I should have less rights than her? How were we so close for so long and I never knew. It's just been dragging on me. I know it's corny, but I just kept listening to "Begin Again" by Ellis. "Can I let myself reveal all the feelings I have, that I can't ignore?" There is part of me that is totally confident I want and could be her friend and then another that feels like I would be too bothered and hurt.

I'm having trouble with Wells Fargo again. I hate money. Whenever I seem to have enough, something goes wrong. It's a resolution of mine to be real good with money. I've been writing down every little bit I spend. I'm going to need to do some babysitting Saturday to make up for the fact that I only have 10 hours at ON next week, but I like watching those little babes. I'm also selling some clothes on the internets.

If only I could grow a marshmallow tree and sell those.

I was nineteeeeeen!

Mom, Dad, and I went to Ely and purchased a pair of mukluks. They pretty much feel like slippers. My dad paid for half for my birthday present in the end, or I guess my parents as a unit did, which was real nice of them. The ride was beautiful, with the thick woods and the snow covered trees, and no fighting. The horizon on the ride home was also beautiful, the outline of the trees, the sunset, it was wonderful. I want to go back up to Ely and maybe spend a day or two, stay in the Motel that advertises color TV, and phones in every room, and explore. I also want to go to the Boundary Waters this summer.

My parents then took me and my grandma out for a fancy pants dinner at the Scenic Cafe for my birthday. I had yummy butternut squash ravioli! OM NOM NOM NOM!!!

It was a real good quiet, fun family day.
Tomorrow work, and then a birthday date!

HOLIDAZZLE IN MY SOUL!

Christmas with the Lieffring's was one of the best in years. It was strange without my aunt Jeanie there, she had to work this year. She usually keeps the chatter and volume up, so it was rather quiet and gossip free.

On the drive away from family and off to Duluth to go to a movie that night I just cried. Something inside of me just broke. My aunts asking what was new with me and how much I wanted to say I've been dating someone and I really like her and all that jazz, but nope. The only thing new with me is I work at Old Navy. Then my aunt told me I should visit my cousin Staci when I am in Minneapolis, cause she hangs out with a lot of cute boys. I just wanted to be able to say something, anything about my life without fear of a bad reaction. I guess maybe that means it's time to come out of the coat closet to my family. Eh?

Carlson Christmas was loverly as always. I learned how to play cribbage!

I miss outreach GS, we haven't had it for 2 weeks because of the Holiday and I need some fun work in my life. Old Navy is fine, but it sometimes sucks my soul. My hours are low because of the time of year, which makes the money situation stink even more. Maybe I will sell my life on Ebay.

I had a lovely low-key new years night with Anna(Page). We made some eats and watched Margaret Cho. I also had New Years breakfast with Katie(Pike) and I forget how much I like that girl. We just talked for an hour, which could have easily been longer had I not needed to hit the road to get to work.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

deck the halls with boughs of holly

I went Christmas caroling with the Two Harbors Girl Scouts today at Sunrise Nursing Home and Sunrise on Superior. The Nursing home makes me sad, the residents with severe health problems, the ones who don't know where they are and yell for mom or dad, and then there is the fact that I know some are rarely or even never visited. I don't know if the girls realize how much the residents like them coming and just saying hello. There was one resident who sang out loud and clear with us, and then sang in between our songs. Mom told me she sings all the time. She just seemed so happy to be alive and singing, it was great.

After caroling we went out with my grandma and then decorated her apartment. I love her Christmas decorations. One of my favorites that she has is the little old clear plastic tree with small shiny red Christmas balls that hang from the cracked plastic branches. I guess it's been around since my Oldest Aunt and Uncle were little. (late 40s early 50s) Mom said it was always her favorite, cause she got to decorate it every year when she was little. It was a big explosion of Christmas all over, cause I insisted on finding a place for every ornament that I could. We listened to Christmas music on the radio and laughed about the decor I put together, like the white porcelain carolers (with lamp post) on the red viking ship. It was a good day and evening all together. I am ready to really dig out our Christmas decorations and have Christmas all over here too!

Tomorrow is Black Friday and from 4:45 to 1:45 I will be working at Old Navy.

Today was filled with Family, Turkey and Pie. It was the usual family get together at my aunts house. My 3 almost 4 year old cousin Austin was there. He farted on my leg several times and when I told him he better watch it cause I'll have that guy in the corner over there (my dad) fart on him, and he doesn't want that, he said "Great Grandma will toot on YOU!" He has become good entertainment, but with that a farting, burping, violent boy. His new favorite game is guns.


There is snow on the ground and big flakes falling in the sky. I am excited for the holiday season!













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